Frisky Business

Posted in A Day in the Life of a Flight Attendant | 8 comments

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Just when I thought I’ve seen it all, something else happens that amazes me.

On a recent flight the passengers seated in 1 A & C were obviously in love with each other. The guy was probably late 50s and the woman, early 40s. When they boarded they were holding hands, once airborne they asked for champagne while they both watched the same movie.. But after dinner.. The peep show began. Literally.

The second I collected the woman’s dinner tray, she reclined her seat to the same level as her male companion. They were now face to face.. And then they connected their faces by making out for the next 20 minutes. I was shocked at how shameless they were. They weren’t hiding or trying to hide what they were doing. In fact, arms were flailing about.

Their making out made all of first class a bit uncomfortable. I was still serving dinner and the passengers seat across the aisle were looking at the couple with a look of shock on their faces as well. They looked at me as if to tell the couple to “tame” themselves.. But there was nothing I could do.

Then the awkwardness increased.

The woman rolls across her seat and the divider and right into her man’s lap in the aisle seat. Now they’re even closer to the passengers across the aisle and I instantly get a look from them. I shrug my shoulders and kind of brush it off. The seatbelt sign was off and so was the shame-o-meter.

I went to the back of the cabin to assist the crew with passenger requests and when I returned things had been taken to the next level.

The woman had returned to her seat, draped her blanket over her man’s lap..and I’d like to think she was just keeping her hands warm under the blanket but the motions of the blanket described otherwise.

Now. Here’s the dilemma: How do I put a stop to this without embarrassing them? I know!

“Hi there, excuse me.. I’m just checking up on you, can I get you anything? Soda? Water? A cocktail?”

Okay, I should have said “libation” but I couldn’t resist.

“nothing, I’m going strong, thanks.”

Touché.

As I continued to the folks across the aisle to not make it seem like I targeted the lustful couple, they continued the “job at hand.” Then, I finally leaned over the aisle and tapped the man the shoulder and simply said, “not here.”

His response was, “Okay.. I’m…We’re done.” He got up and entered the restroom.

I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say to that. Of course, I had my crew standing by in the galley watching how I dealt with the situation in case they became irate or thought I was making false allegations. But to simply acknowledge what you were doing..and proclaim that you were “done” floored me.

As he said “we’re done” my crew in the galley about lost it, they were both hysterical laughing, especially when I turned them with a look of ‘what just happened?’ on my face.

Luckily, the only other passengers who witnessed what was going on didn’t see how the situation came to a close. They joked with me about the situation later in the flight.
See, you never know who or what you’ll encounter when you head to work. People really check their brains and apparently their shame with their bags at the ticket counter.

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