Armrests and Flashlights

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You would think that being a flight attendant I’d be on time for my flight to Newark, NJ.  I didn’t have to be there to work the flight but as an “other airline nonrev” I can check in with the gate agent one hour prior to departure, and, with how full New York City area flights usually get, I definitely wanted to get there and put my name on the standby list as soon as possible. The flight was scheduled to leave at 4:05pm MST, but I could have sworn it was supposed to leave at 4:30pm. So, I showed up at 3:30pm. Just in time for boarding!

I’m sitting in a dreaded middle seat, yes, I’m writing this while on the plane. We have about 2 more hours before landing in Newark, but I have a story to tell and I can’t wait to tell it and share the pictures with you. Because of how late I checked in, all of the aisle and window seats were given away, that’s fine — my fault. I also look at it as such that I didn’t pay for my plane ticket, so how could I get upset that I’m in a middle seat? It’s the big picture. As the gate agent was giving me my boarding pass he apologized that I was in a middle, but, told me I was at the bulkhead. I was happy with that. Middle seat, but extra legroom.. perfect!

I boarded the flight, introduced myself to the Captain (who I actually met earlier in the terminal) and headed to my seat. At the window, a skinny guy with headphones and a hat on.. on the aisle.. well.. this is where it gets interesting.

As I walked past the bulkhead and saw my row-mates I started to re-think going to New York to visit my Mom. Sorry Mom, but nothing is worth this. There he was, a large, 40/50-something, black man, unshaven, huge glasses, earrings and a flashlight. Yes, a flashlight. I put my bags in the bin (no stowage on the floor at a bulkhead!) and pointed to the middle seat, and said “I’m in there.” He didn’t respond. So, thanks to the legroom, I walked around his legs to get to my seat, I was also holding up traffic. He had some items on my seat, but he didn’t move them. He looked at them, then at me, and said “you’ve got to be kidding me.” Nope, move it.

So I sit down, my arms crunched together on my lap, my legs leaning to the left, toward the window. He’s upper body spilled over into my seat and he was covering the arm rest. Mind you, these seats don’t have moveable armrests, rather they are a part of the seat and are attached at all corners, thank god! It kept the rest of him in his seat. Anyway, after a few nudges to reclaim the armrest (I’m sorry, I believe the person the middle is entitled to BOTH arm rests since theres no where else for them to move to), victory was mine. For now.

Through the whole boarding process he fiddled in his bag. Knowing it had to get put up top he tried his best to take everything out of it and fit it in his seat and in the pocket attached to the bulkhead wall. He had some high hopes even fitting magazines in his seat with him, as they fell along side me in my seat. He also pulled out, another flashlight, a magnifying glass (thats much larger then one I’ve ever seen) and medication. Finally his bag went up, and so did we.

On the climb out of Phoenix items from his bulkhead pocket started spilling onto the

(click to enlarge) Glow on his face and below chin, is flashlight

floor. This was my chance to, once again, reclaim the arm rest that he upper body took away from me as he shook left and right on the takeoff roll. He got onto the floor, flashlight in hand, and recovered his items. By the time he got up to sit back down, I had my iPod on, and was pretending to sleep. Sorry man, but all is fair in armrest wars. He folds his arms, sighs and falls asleep. He slept though me stepping over him to the restroom, the flight attendants hitting him with the cart, all of the bings and bongs that comes with aircraft noises.. everything. I was impressed.

(click to enlarge)

All of a sudden.. he jumps in his sleep. Scared the shit out of me. Grabs his flashlight, turns it on, tucks it in his arms.. and falls back asleep. I can only imagine that he’d afraid of the dark? Or finds comfort in sleeping with lights on? Or maybe I’d trying to shine on the spotlight on him for attention. I have no idea. It’s created quite the spectacle though, even the flight attendants were walking by just to check it out.. and trying to locate me another seat.. which didn’t happen.

Anyway.. enjoy the photo. I have to live with that view for the next 2 hours. But take note, his arms are folded. That’s right! I’m winning the battle for both arm rests at the moment.