Dating on the Fly

Posted in A Day in the Life of a Flight Attendant | 9 comments

A lot of people dream that one day they can do what I do: fly for a living. I’ll admit, being a Flight Attendant sure has its perks but it also has its downfalls.

When I started flying a few years back I never realized how difficult it would become to find a romantic interest that would accept what I do for a living. At first, I looked past the stereotype and thought that others would too, but that wasn’t true.

Many people believe that flight attendants– are “air mattresses.” In their mind, we have a guy/girl in every city we fly to willing and able to be on-call for our booty-call. While that might be true of some, it’s not for the majority. Many flight attendants do this job because of the flexibility, travel benefits and because they love people and love to fly—just kidding—but seriously, this job is unique. No where else in America can you have a “full time” paying job working part-time, 15 days a month with vacations that last upwards of three weeks and the ability to change your schedule (based on seniority of course) at the drop of a dime.

I’m sure the root of the stereotype stems from years ago when flight attendants had to meet certain criteria such as a being a younger female under a certain weight and primped to princess standards. This made the “stewardesses” among some of the most attractive people making them a target to be hit on and asked out. When men were finally allowed to become flight attendants, mostly gay men applied for the position and there was already a stigmata associated with them as being able to have meaningless sex and jumping from guy to guy.

I, for one, am relationship oriented. I like having someone to come home to and share my life with. At first, it was hard to find someone who took my job seriously and didn’t view it as beneath them or an easy way out of having a “real job” (whatever that is). After overcoming that hurdle and finding guys who think the job is fun and interesting, the harder part is locating someone who is okay with you being away.

Being away from home is harder then it sounds when you’re trying to build a relationship and get to know someone. Just went you meet someone you’re interested in and can’t wait to see again, you realize you’re going to be on a 4 day trip starting the next day and will have to wait close to a week before seeing them again. It’s hard on both parties involved. Finding someone who understands the job and accepts it for what it is, truly is a needle in a haystack.

I guess that’s why a lot of flight attendants and pilots date each other. They both understand the job and understand the concept of being away. However, my fear would be completely conflicting schedules and you never being able to see each other.

The true prize is finding a “civilian” who accepts and embraces the job. Luckily, my boyfriend is one of those people.

From the start he thought the job was intriguing and different and we never really encountered an instance when my being away hindered our relationship. Sure there were those times when one of us really missed the other person, and my being out of town stung a bit, but it made my homecoming that much more emotional and exciting.

Now living together, I find that when I go to work, it gives our relationship the small break we need from each other. It allows him alone time to do his own thing with his friends, work quietly on his homework and relax (not to mention have the whole bed to himself). For me, when I’m at home from work.. I like being “at home” for at least the first 24 hours. And, as my days off progress and he comes in and out of our one bedroom apartment to/from work and school I’m always there to send him off or welcome him home since when I’m off from work, I have no real obligations to be anywhere. Anyone can see how this can be annoying and suffocating. Luckily, when I leave for work, it gives us the chance to miss each other again and get excited about upcoming events and activities we can do together once I get home.

I know of many flight attendants who are married and in committed relationships. So it is possible. But finding those people who love you and accept your job as a flight attendant can be a daunting and hurtful experience, but then again, isn’t that true of dating in general?

Note: Check our my boyfriends blog about hiking and the outdoors by visiting Tried & Trekked or follow him on twitter at @triedandtrekked.