One of the many mysteries of air travel revolves around the restrooms. It seems everyone always has a question about them whether it be where they are, how they work, why the water doesn’t shut off or if they’re occupied or not. Most domestic airliners have three lavatories on board for the use of about 150 people. The ratio could even be less if one lav is restricted for the use of first class passengers only, making it around 2 lavs for every 138 people. This makes the restroom one of the most sought after amenities on the aircraft.

I say that, because there’s always a line to get in them. It’s almost like the passengers are waiting in line to attend the hottest club in the skies… they mingle with each other, talk about what they’re going to do at the arrival city, some take out photos of their kids and others just wait in anticipation. Then, you hear the noise.. the noise of the lock to the restroom unlock, and the door swings open. Everyone in line jumps to see who gets to go in next, almost like a bouncer allowing people into the club. Some people run on their way in, some walk, some do a cheerful dance to show off to the others that they finally made it and others don’t want to leave their newly found friends from the line behind and continue to talk while walking toward the lav slowing the process down even more.

However, those passengers who found their way to the line are already a step ahead of the rest. Many can’t seem to even find the lavs. I can’t even begin to put into words how many people walk to the back of the airplane… then begin to look left, right, behind the curtain, down, up (while walking in a circle), finally turning to the FA to say “where is the bathroom?” It’s that door that’s right in front of you, with a big sign that says “RESTROOM” yeah.. it’s right there.

Apparently, it’s also hard to comprehend that RED means occupied and GREEN means vacant. Not only do the restrooms have the color coding on the doors themselves, some newer aircraft also have illuminated signs outside of the galley to inform you of the lav’s status before even getting back there. But, ignoring that, passengers will still walk right up to the door (once they’ve found it) and try to open it. When it doesn’t open, the biggest look of confusion overcomes their faces as they ask “is it open?”

Something I’ll never understand is people who go to the lav with no shoes or socks on. There is about 138 people using that restroom and not everyone is as sanitary as you may be. Just the thought of going in there barefoot skeeves me out. What you think is water on the floor, probably isn’t. I always want to ask people before they walk in, “would you walk into a port-o-potty without shoes?” It’s the same thing. Flight Attendants are supposed to “maintain the cleanliness” of the lavs during the flight, but you’d be hard pressed to find one who does. Most just ensure they’re restocked with toilet paper and paper towels. No, I’m not going to try to sop up the “water” on the floor so you can walk in barefoot. And most don’t care. They just tip-toe around the wet spots rather then going back to their seat, which is so far away, to put shoes on.

Regardless, please realize that though your questions about the lav are annoying, because the answer is right in front of you, it provides flight attendants countless seconds of entertainment. Especially when you finally realize how to open the door using the oh-so-complicated door knob and proceed to whack yourself in the face with it. Thank you.