Boarding the flight from DC to Los Angeles was going as normal. Everyone upfront was super nice, cordial, fun to talk to, it was great. I was looking forward to our 6 hour journey back to the West. Once airborne, as usual when flying from East to West I started taking drink and meal orders from the back of first class to the front. Our airline has this policy so that if someone books a round trip in first class and they book the same seat both ways, if they happen to be in a seat which ends up having the last choice in meals – going the opposite way, they’ll have the first choice. It seems fair, in theory.

When it came time to take meal orders, the last two seats in first class were in for some bad news. All I had left was the vegetarian option; Ravioli.

Hi there, so I’m sorry to inform you that the only option I have left is the ravioli. But, if this doesn’t work for you from the main cabin I can get you the following options: Caesar salad, fruit and cheese platter, a club sandwich, a mushroom wrap or a ham and cheese sandwich.

The lady on the aisle seat responded with: “What? there’s not enough food for all of us?”

I explained to her that there is in fact enough food for everyone, the problem is that I didn’t have enough of the meat option for everyone. The company only gives us 5 of those and 4 vegetarian meals.

She then said: “Well, why didn’t you tell me on the ground that the chicken was spoken for?” —  So, I told her that I had no way of knowing that everyone would opt for Chicken, as I just had taken orders seconds before approaching her. She was appalled. Shocked that she couldn’t order chicken.

“This is really ridiculous. What am I supposed to do? Starve?” – Not exactly. There are various other options you can have aside from the chicken meal. In fact, I had offered her six meal options. She handed the menu back to me and said “I’ll decide later what I want to do.”

Okay then. That works for me. I told her if she was truly unhappy to send a letter to the airline. Maybe they would listen and consider her suggestion about having double the amount of meals so that if everyone wanted chicken, everyone could have it. I did tell her that doing so would be an incredible waste since I’d be throwing out meals and also it would be a waste of money.

So here’s my question to you: When flying domestically in first class, its known that airlines don’t provide every option for every passenger. What order should orders be taken in? Front to back? Back to front? Full fare to upgrade? What’s your point of view?

sen·ior  ma·ma

noun
1. older or elder flight attendant
2. of earliest admission to group of flight attendants at a particular airline
3. flight attendants whom have been flying for said airline since the beginning of time

When I first started working for US Airways back in 2006 the first word I learned was “senior mama.” They were the group of flight attendants whom had been with America West (yes, I was a westie) since the 1980′s and with US Airways East since the 1950′s who were basically dinosaurs still roaming the skies. Now, in their defense, not all of them were “old” per-se, but they posses more seniority than the vast majority of flight attendants at the airline making them “senior.”

So, what are the tall-tale signs you’re becoming a “Senior Mama?”

1. The Turn Bag. With seniority comes the ability to hold the most sought after trips, the transcon turn is one of them. Why pack for a 2 day if you can just take your required items in a small, wheeling, purse-like bag, and show off to the world that “I’m too good for overnights.”
2. Technology is smarter than you. Through the years your airline has changed reservation systems, crew scheduling systems and even gotten those “fancy” new touch screen panels on the Airbus, and you don’t know how to work any one of them. You get so frustrated just trying to check in for your trip that you start pressing every button on the keyboard, give up and proclaim “I’ll just wait for them to call me.”
3. Coach? What’s that? For all of you senior flight attendants that work at legacy airlines, working in coach is like visiting a zoo. You don’t want to go beyond the bulkhead divider into the sometimes mayhem which awaits for you. Working in First Class you provide the most drawn out, longest first class service you can just to tell your co-workers in the back, “ugh, I’m so busy!” Meanwhile, you’re dealing with eight to twelve people, and no one is hungry and everyone is sleeping.
4. The Bitch in the Back. Okay, so you work for an airline where there is no first class, or maybe you’re not quite senior enough to hold first class, but you can be the bitch in the back. The one position on the plane that you can avoid dealing with the circus that is The Boarding Process. You get to keep to yourself, manage all of those inventory numbers (if you choose to participate in the inventory process rather than just proclaiming “we’re out of everything!”) and make a few announcements. The biggest hurdle you have is trying to maintain sanity while the nursery/bathroom line grows larger and larger while you’re trying to count.
5. InFlight Shoes. For the women, you’re supposed to be in heels in the terminal and through out the boarding process. For the men, you should be in black dress shoes. But, you’ve been working on your feet for so many years you now opt for something a bit more comfortable like the Dansko Clog for women (and MEN! Yes, I’ve seen it!) or black UGGs to get you through the flight. The second you step foot onto the plane you change into your “service shoes” or for those extra-special-senior mama’s you don’t even bother with the heels anymore you always wear your “service shoes.”
6. Who’s that? They work here? You’re quickly approaching senior mama status when you don’t know any flight attendants hired a year after yourself. You hear stories about Jenny and Sarah and have no clue who they are and you hear that they’re based at your airlines most junior base and your only thought is, “We still fly there?”
7. Senior Mama buddy-bidder called in sick? Meet the Reserve! You don’t like working the most recent factory produced flight attendant graduates so you buddy bid with someone to avoid having to babysit the newbies. Let’s be honest, they all have to be “re-trained” for the real world anyway.
8. Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome aboard…uhhh. You’ve been with your airline so long that you can’t remember the name of the airline you work for. You’ve been through so many mergers and name changes that you just say “you’re onboard United American Airways”
9. Slam, Click! You’ve been to all of the destinations your airline flies to over and over and over again that when you get to your layover hotel all you want to do is slam your door closed, letting it click behind you, lay on your bed and tune the TV to your stories.
10. The F Word. The one “F” word that’s not your vocabulary, Furlough.

Note: T.C. contributed to this post.

This past week, however, the reverse was true. Fog seemed to have bogged down right on top of the airport, much like it usually does in San Francisco and the airport was never fully able to recover.

I drove to work early on Thursday, December 27th because my friend Brad was working a DC turn that checked in at 6am. I was working later that morning at 7:45am headed to Chicago so I figured I’d just relax in the crew room until the time came for me to check in for my flights. Brad left on time, but my flight – well thats another story.

7:45am came and went and my crew and I were gazing out the window at nothing but gray. The fog was so dense we couldn’t even see the gate which was literally 150ft from the window. Our aircraft was on a hardstand from the night prior and was awaiting clearance to be tugged over to the gate, but the problem was that they couldn’t see the gate, or even other aircraft for that matter.

The Orlando crew, which left the crew room at 7am to board their plane came back into the room at 8am, also awaiting a plane to be tugged over. Then, at 8:15am I receive a call from Crew Scheduling informing me that our flight is delayed until 10:08am (scheduled 8:45am departure) due to fog in Chicago.

So, I posed the question: “Do you want the good news, or the bad news?” to my crew. They opted for the good first, and well – the good news was that they were flying/working with me. The bad news, well that was the delay of course.

At 9:50am our gate agent called into the crew room to inform us that our aircraft was being tugged over and to head over to the gate. We boarded the plane and was told that our new departure time, since we missed our “wheels up” time for Chicago, was 10:35am. That left us with 45 minutes to board, pushback and take off.

Shockingly, we did it. It’s amazing how quickly people move when you tell them that if we don’t get airborne by a particular time that they weren’t going anywhere.

Once inflight all was going fine until the Captain came out of the flight deck for his restroom break. He informed me that our windshield defroster was giving them an error message. He said there was a 75% chance that it could be fixed in Chicago and a 25% chance we’d be cancelled once we landed.

Usually, I’d be doing the cancel dance, but today was a turn day. All I have packed is a change of underwear, socks and a t-shirt along with my amenity kit. Being cancelled wouldn’t be a fun experience.

I phoned the aft of the aircraft and posed the question: Do you want the good news, or the bad news? Once again they opted for the good first, and once again it was that they were working with me. The bad, well – I had to break the news that their New Years plans might have a bit of a hiccup in them if we were to be cancelled.

Once we landed the mechanics boarded holding a piece of paper with the title “A319 Troubleshooting Guide.” Needless to say, I wasn’t hopeful.

Our new pilots boarded and told us, quite frankly, we weren’t going anywhere, anytime soon. In fact United nor Spirit nor JetBlue had the part we needed available in Chicago and there was a chance we needed to wait for it to be flown in from Fort Lauderdale.

I felt for our gate agents in Chicago. Not only did they have to break the bad news, but they were dealing with passengers who had been delayed for about 3 hours now because of our foggy experience trying to leave LA.

About three hours later, a miracle. They fixed it! It seems the whole problem was simply with a popped circuit breaker.

We boarded and took off back to LA.

Once inflight, I received a call from the Captain. More bad news. It seems the fog hadn’t let up in Los Angeles and there was a chance we’d have to divert to Ontario, California. This time, I called the back to relay the message and before I could even ask “Do you want the good news, or the bad news?” I was met with “Just lay it on me, give me the bad news.”

Luckily, we didn’t divert. The good news was that we made it home that night. The bad news was that we were five hours late.

But something that never changes for me, and is always fun, during this time of the year is the boarding game. I’m always at the boarding door greeting people. In fact, I hardly ever move during boarding. I like to try and say hello to everyone. This way, you can kind of feel out how the crowd is going to be for the duration of the flight and, plus, you’re also scouting for possible “able bodies” to help you if you need them.

I usually just say “Hi there!” “Hello, how are you doing?” “Welcome, how’s your day going?” you know– a simple question or statement to break the ice get them talking for a few seconds, and send them on their way down the aisle of oversized bags and a-la-carte food service.

But the game is: how many people actually acknowledge you. You may snicker, but it’s quite amazing how many people walk right by without even returning a simple “Hi” or “Hello.” Sure, there are those passengers who are preoccupied with work, family issues, the stress of running late for the flight — but even then, that’s not an excuse. That’s not an excuse to be rude.

Yes, I think it’s rudeness. I think its rude that if someone says “hello” to you, you at least say “hi” back, especially if you’re going to be locked in a metal tube with them for the next five hours — oh yea — and they’re going to be the ones serving you a drink, food (did I mention that you have to pay for it?) and possibly helping to save your live in one kind of an emergency or another god-forbid.

The media keeps reporting that the travel industry is stressful, uncomfortable and just rigorous.. but does it have to be? Can just saying a simple “hello” change someone’s day?

One of my last flights, the last passenger on the plane was running late. It was a woman in her late 20′s who arrived at the airport 2 hours prior, but it took her an hour to find parking which set her back. As she ran down the jetbridge dripping in sweat and walked through the door she exclaimed “Thanks for waiting! No really, thanks!” Truthfully, we still had 5 minutes left, we didn’t wait for her — but I returned with my usual “Welcome! We’re happy to have you.” She looked at me and said “that’s the nicest thing someone has said to me all day” to which I responded “you said the word thanks twice, I guarantee you no one else will say it twice on this plane today.”

What does being nice get you? Priority luggage access. She was the last passenger on, the bins in the main cabin were full and first class was fully boarded and I still had extra room so I let her put her bags in the first overhead bin then said “that’s one less thing you have to worry about today” she smiled and went to her seat.

Was that so bad? Did it take any effort on either of our parts? That small conversation changed both of our moods.

Something that does make me giggle a bit is the people who feel obligated to say “hello” when they come on the plane, but don’t want to converse. It usually creates an even more strange conversation with me saying “hi there! welcome aboard” and their response being “Hi, hello– good” while making a B-line to 23B. They obviously weren’t listening to me – but, hey, they said “Hi.”

For the most part now, I do transcon turns. Early check-ins, late arrivals, long days.. but I’m home almost every night and I only have to work about 9-10 days a month. But, that doesn’t mean that crazy can’t happen on a day turn.

During boarding out of Florida, this older lady approached me and asked me to read her seat assignment on her boarding pass. I instructed her that she was in 4C, the aisle seat at the start of our premium economy section, behind the bulkhead (the cabin divider). The moment I said “behind the wall” she asked me to explain how to get to her seat a second time, so I walked her there and then went back to the boarding door.

On the ground she asked another one of the flight attendants for a blanket, and like most airlines now-a-days, we don’t have any in coach; so that was explained to the woman.

Once in-flight I was taking meal orders in first class when out of the corner of my eye I see this womans arm extend into the first class cabin from behind the bulkhead snapping her fingers at me. “Son, you forgot to give me a menu.”

Once I finished taking orders, I went over to the woman and said: “I’m sorry ma’am, but the menus are for first class only. In main cabin you order food with the flight attendants who work back here off the cart when they start service.” She looked around like she was lost and said “Where? I’m where?” Now, I’m confused.

I said, “You’re in the main cabin, ma’am. Not first class.” In a fit of rage she responded: “My travel agent must be stupid!”

Okay — who uses a travel agent? — She continued – “She told me I was in first class! No menus, no blankets — I’ve never heard of such a thing!”

I explained to her that unfortunately, she wasn’t in first class on this particular flight and what she was experiencing was our main cabin product and that our premium economy comes with increased legroom, free food and drinks, a free movie and her free checked bags. She once again, berated her travel agent to me.

A bit later, she rang her call button and I responded. “Bobby, son, I need to complain about the girls [flight attendants] in the back” I asked her what the problem and she ever so slightly crushed her drink cup in her hand like an aluminum can and said “they served me my drink, in plastic!”

I, once again, explained that she was not in first class. “Ma’am, the glassware is on the other side of the wall, in first class. You are in main cabin. It’s paper or plastic back here.”  She was so upset she could hardly contain it. She screamed out “Wait until I land!! My travel agent will hear about this!”

I’m sure she was hoping that plasticware was going to be the last of her grievances for the day, but, it was about to get a bit worse. She walks right past the bulkhead, through the first class cabin and heads right for the bathroom door when — “Excuse me ma’am, but this restroom is reserved for first class passengers only. There are two restrooms in the back for main cabin passengers.” If looks could kill. “You want me to walk all the way back there?” I explained to her that using the restrooms in the back is in fact procedure, and, when she is sitting in the front, how she felt about main cabin passengers coming to the forward restroom. She, without saying a word.. turned around and headed aft.

That was the beginning of my trip a few weeks ago. I woke up super excited that I was getting to layover in Las Vegas but then quickly realized I had a 12 hour day leading up to it, with only 10 hours on the ground. As I walked into the crew room and checked-in a flight attendant from across the room, “hey are you Bobby? Are you going to Vegas with me?” I looked over and said, “If your name is Tori, then yes I am!” The next thing out of her mouth was exactly what I had been thinking all morning, “So, how can we make the best of Las Vegas in just 10 hours?”

Read how flight attendants make the best of their layovers by seeing what I did with my crew in only 10 hours in Vegas on Flightster.com. Click here!

FreakJet.com

I’m really started to get tired of the fact that the mainstream media keeps forgetting about flight attendants.

You’ll remember a week or so ago a story was all over the airwaves and newspapers about how pilots can commute a “long” ways to work since one in five pilots live “at least” 750 miles from the airport they’re based in. While I believe that statistic, as almost every pilot I know commutes to work, let’s not forget that they aren’t the only ones on board that plane.

Sure, they’re the ones that are flying this machine that’s soaring through the air at 600mph, but how would the tragic events of Flight #1549 have unfolded if the flight attendants were all commuters who had to fly to work six hours prior to flying for work, and then subsequently had to work a few sectors on that particular day? I’m willing to bet it wouldn’t have ended as memorable as it did.

The argument will now be made that we “choose” to commute. Which, is true. But, why do we choose that option? Simple. Flight Attendants, yes folks, and Pilots, aren’t paid that much! Starting salary on both sides is about $20,000 a year.. if that. Most airlines have their largest hubs in America’s largest cities to keep a steady flow of passengers, and living in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago or D.C. on $20K a year, isn’t going to cut it. So, flight crews a like live in cheaper cities, to help stretch a buck and fly to work.

Most times commuters have crashpad’s, which is a shared apartment with about 12-18 other crewmembers, but having this space allows them to sleep before and after work. Some commuters get hotel rooms, but that gets expensive. Others sleep in airports. No, I’m not kidding.

Numerous times walking through San Francisco airport you’ll see flight attendants sleeping behind escalators, or under a row of chairs, maybe even in a booth at the food court. Anywhere they can close their eyes before going to work.

If the F.A.A. wants to continue to make flight attendants out to be “safety professionals” and have us remind passengers of regulations and more importantly want us to evacuate an aircraft as quickly and safely as possible to save as many lives as possible, it’s time to show some respect.

Start treating us like the safety professionals you’re painting us to be. We can fly unlimited hours a day as long as our scheduled duty day isn’t longer than 14 hours. Pilots can only fly 8 hours a day, its “unsafe” for them to do more than that. However, even though a flight attendants day is scheduled less than 14 hours, if theres a weather or mechanical delay, or anything that makes us go over 14 hours.. the FAA decided it’s OKAY. Yes, it’s okay if you’re on a flight where a flight attendant has been WORKING for 22 hours. The FAA says you’re safe. As long as the flight attendant is given 10 hours worth of “layover” time once they get on the ground (don’t forget, a layover is door open till door close the next day) they say it’s “legal.” That 22 hours doesn’t include the time the flight attendant woke up that morning or commuted to work (whether their commute is by car or by air).

I ask that you keep this in mind the next time you board and airplane and see worn out, tired flight attendants. Especially if you’re flying into San Francisco or in a city with bad weather. These flight attendants are trying the best they can to even stay awake at this point, because chances are they’ve been on duty for over 15 hours and the end isn’t even insight.

Oh, and don’t think the flight attendants can call their airline and say “I’m fatigued” like the Pilots do, either. They get in trouble for that, flight attendants are supposed to be invincible. Maybe that’s why the FAA and the organizations running these surveys always leave us out.

UpUp&AGay News | Article source: http://www.nola.com/business/index.ssf/2011/07/long_commutes_can_tire_out_air.html

If you’re a seasoned flight attendant from another airline, we’re going to try to retrain you to not use the phrase “at this time” in your announcements.

At first, I was confused. What were they talking about? “At this time?” Who says that?

I did. A lot. A lot might even be an understatement. I said it all the time:

Ladies and gentlemen, at this time we’re asking that you power down your electronics.

At this time the flight attendants will pass through the cabin one final time collecting trash.

Please fasten your seatbelts and brings your seats up. At. This. Time.

I didn’t notice how much I said until I got onto an airplane to work my first flight at my current airline and was in charge of the announcements. It was like word vomit, I constantly wanted to say “at this time” every time! Almost like there was no other words to convey “now” or “please start to..”

It took a little practice and training myself to memorize my airlines scripted announcements in hopes that when I picked up the PA my brain would substitute what I learned over my previous three years of habit. But now when I get on a plane as a passenger hearing “At this time” sticks out like a sore thumb; kind of like how when you buy a new car you seem to see it everywhere. Yes, just like that.

One of the phrases I that drives me NUTS (and I used to say it too) that’s made just prior to final decent is:

Please fasten your seatbelts for the duration of today’s flight

To me, saying the word duration insinuates the WHOLE flight. From start to finish, that, to me, is the duration. I catch flight attendants saying that and I cringe. I don’t know why. I prefer to use the term “remainder” in its place. It seems to be more conscious of the time remaining before landing and gives everyone a sense of “it’s almost over” whereas “duration” makes it seems like it can go on forever.

For all of you FAs and frequent travelers out there, what drives you crazy in FA/pilot announcements? As a FA what are you in the habit of saying, that you’re trying to break out of?

But, I’m having a change of heart.

I’ve been working a lot of New York flights recently, by choice. I’m usually working the redeye from California and the 5pm or 8pm flight back to the left coast. On these flights, knock on wood, I have yet to experience a problem like any of the ones I’ve encountered in the past. In fact, they’ve been a ton of fun because a lot of the passengers are connecting onto Australia Flights and talking to these folks about their country has been so interesting, I’m considering visiting there next year. Trust me, usually every flight to New York I’ve had something happen and the fact that they’ve been enjoyable has me speechless. Just go through the archives of this blog. I should rename the website “up up and run away from New York.”

But, a funny thing happened on the way home from Boston last week. I felt like I left New York. I even had a moment where I said to my crew: “What is going on! I feel like we’re working a New York to LA flight!” Everyone, including us, was becoming irritable. Things didn’t work, the food ran out, and everyone was kind of in a grumpy mood. We quickly tried to change the tide, and we succeeded making the flight a win-win for everyone in the end. But, when we landed I realized that those flights that just don’t go as planned when people’s personalities clash can happen between any city.

What’s the take away I’ve received from these instances? That old saying “you can’t judge a book by its cover” comes to mind.  I used to avoid flights and cities based on past experiences and I can’t hold that against them. That’s one reason why I do this job. Every day brings something new, and new people to meet. It keeps it fun, interesting and keeps me coming back for more.

Xanax, commonly prescribed to help calm someones nerves and put them at ease, is also prescribed for some nervous flyers. But, how much is too much?

On a recently flight from New England to California I had a passenger in First class who was a nervous flyer. However, she never told me. She was traveling with her partner, who also never told me.

I caught on about mid-flight when I noticed her watching every move I made. Every time there was a hint of turbulence, she would look at me with a small look of fear on her face. I always re-assured her and told her “it’s normal. It’s fine.”

Throughout the flight she had a total of two glasses of white wine.. and appeared to be normal. About 3/4 the way across the country she had fallen asleep.

What happened next, however, was a first for me.

As we prepared the cabin to land in California, I approached their row to ask her to bring her seat forward. I nudged her shoulder.. and there was no response. I said “excuse me” right into her ear, and nothing. I looked at her partner who said “she’s out cold.” I said, “yeah, I see that.. is she going to be okay?” “Oh yea,” she replied; “she’s a nervous flyer. She took some meds.”

Thinking nothing of it, I brought her seat forward, she never even moved a finger mind you, and I made my way through the cabin and took my seat.

Not to my Pilots discredit, but we encountered a hard landing.  Hard enough that it would have woken her up, but it didn’t. Now I started to worry.

Once we got to the gate and people started to deplane she moved. Thank god. Her partner was talking to her.. but it was obvious she had no idea what was going on. She was still in her Xanax coma. I saw this interaction take place and leaned over and asked, “would you like me to request a wheelchair for her?” “Oh! That’d be great, and probably a lot safer. She’s not a goof flyer,” she said. “She took three Xanax.” THREE? 3? I was a bit shocked. “Oh wow, three? Plus the two glasses of wine she had from me.. she’s.. ” her partner chimed in, “yep, out cold.”

After the last passenger got off the plane the wheelchair attendant boarded with an aisle chair. At this point the passenger was laying across her armrest with her head resting on her elbow with her mouth open drooling. The wheelchair attendant saw the passenger in that condition and saw her limb body fall as her partner tried to lift her and she exited the aircraft. “I can’t take a dead body” she tells the gate agent. The agent discreetly tries to tell her that she’s alive but highly medicated. Once we reboards the aircraft the woman’s partner asked me to carry her girlfriend over the wheelchair. I declined. There was so way I was going to be able to carry that much deadweight on my own.

Finally, one supervisor, myself and her partner all three moved her into the chair at the same time. Once she sat down.. she woke up. Barely. She pointed at her feet and tried to say the word “shoes.” “I know, you’re not wearing shoes. Don’t worry, I put them in your bag for you” I said.

Her partner, not phased at this situation at all. Walked off with a wave and a “thanks!”

So, since I’m not a fearful flier, here’s a question if you are, what do you do to get past your anxiety? What are some tips you might have for others?