Flee for Fleas

Posted in A Day in the Life of a Flight Attendant | 3 comments

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I’m not fond of overnights as of recently. I don’t know why. I just have no desire not to be in my own bed at night, and the thought of being away from home for a prolonged period of time, fully knowing that I don’t have to be because I can hold turns, is just not appealing to me. Then, I get my pay check. What I am missing when I’m not in my hotel bed is per diem. You almost forget how much of your pay check is untaxable when you do a 4 day trip. So I’ve decided to do two overnights a month and further decided that one of the flights to said overnight would be a redeye, and I’d only go to a warm destination. I’m picky, huh?

I find myself in Fort Lauderdale quite a bit now a days. The redeye flight is easy peasy! Everyone’s asleep and theres not much to do. I sleep well during the day in the rooms of our layover hotel thankfully, because the flights back to West coast are crazier than any New York – LA flight I’ve ever worked.

On a recent flight back to base from Fort Lauderdale, boarding had its issues, but we managed to get off the gate on time. Once in flight, the flight attendants in coach were about half way through their initial service and as my first class meals were cooking I decided to pass through coach doing a trash run. As I approached row 15 the passenger in 15C started to feverishly scratch herself. Her neck, her head, her arms, her hands, everywhere and anywhere.

I knelt down and asked if everything was okay. Then, it started.

Fleas! I’m being biten by fleas!

What? Fleas? There’s no way she’s getting accosted by fleas and no one else is. I asked her to clarify.

I’m itchy, all over. They’re biting me, everywhere! Look!

She rolled up her sleeve and pointed to a birth mark.

See! Look! The bites are so strong, they’re turning black!

I looked at my flight attendants in the aisle, and they motioned to me that they already knew of her complaint. So, I suggest to the passenger that she go in the restroom and shake out her shirt since it appears that the fleas are under her clothing. She then followed me up to the first class galley and waited there for the passenger in the restroom to exit.

She had been on a 7 day Jazz cruise and said that the mosquitos were unlike anything she had ever experienced. Everyone was getting bites and for a lot of their cruise they had to remain in doors.

Case Closed: They’re not fleas — it’s mosquito bites that she’s suffering from.

She goes in the restroom, comes out and says that she didn’t find anything (shocker!) and was going to take a benedryl and nap to hopefully rectify the problem.

About two hours later she comes to the back galley and asked me if a dog had sat in her seat on the flight prior to the one we were on. I explained to her that we don’t allow dogs to sit in our seats, but even so, I wasn’t on board that flight and there’s no way to know. She then starts to complain about her allergy to dogs and thinks that it’s the root of her issue. But then, she let a whole lot of crazy loose.

This is just a very uncomfortable flight for me. I even stepped in gum on my way back from the bathroom earlier. It’s all over the sole of my shoe. Look.

She flashed the three of us her gum covered shoe, except: there was no gum. I politely told her that I didn’t see any gum on the bottom of her shoes and her response will sit with me forever:

A HA! That confirms it! It’s fleas! It’s fleas I tell you! They’re so hungry they ate the gum right off the bottom of my shoes!

She drank another glass of water, and went back to her seat. Deplaned by saying a polite and joyful, “Thank you!”

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