You know the saying “put it out into the universe and It’ll find you.” Well, I put it out there and goes a response, though not the one I was hoping for.

This past week I was working a Mexico turn and on the return flight, about half way to Los Angeles I went to the back galley and sat down on a jumpseat. I was the only one back there as the other flight attendants were in the cabin serving. Five minutes after I sat down a man who looked to be around 85-90 years old comes to the back of the plane. He’s standing next to my jumpseat and finally looks down at me and says “Hey, Bobby.”

First of all, I know that my name is displayed on my uniform, but it always throws me off when people use my name. “Can I tell you something?” he added.

“Of course! What is it?” I replied.

“You’re one hot man, you know that?”

Excuse me? What? Wait — did you just say what I think you did? I was totally thrown off. “But, I’m sure you hear that all the time” he concluded.

I quickly responded with “awe, thats very nice of you, thanks.” He said “I thought I’d make your day.”

When the other FAs got to the galley I filled them on what the man had said, and they couldn’t stop laughing. I was working with Patti, and she kept saying: “What? Are you sure? The little sweet old man in 5C??” Yep, that was him.

The other flight attendant started drawing hearts all over a water bottle, wanting to give it to the man and say it was from me — but she knew better.

Later in the flight I was doing a trash run, and he stopped me again. This time he was telling me that he lives in Orange County, has a house in Palm Springs (no big surprise there) and is friends with a few hotel owners and how nice they are and he kept going on and on before he stopped abruptly and asked, “What’s your astrological sign?”

There it is. The question which usually is followed by someone asking you out, which at this point was something I was dreading. It’s not usual for me to get hit on at work, but its even less of an everyday occurrence that I have to turn down an 85 year old.

“I’m a Leo,” I said. “I knew it!” he replied. “I can feel the fire.”

Laughing, I walked away. I didn’t know how else to respond.

During deplaning he handed me a note with his name, phone number and, just in case I had dementia like him– he wrote where he lived on the paper.

Johnny
555-555-5555
ORANGE COUNTY
PALM SPRINGS
FREE HOTEL ROOM

Thanks for the compliment Johnny, but I’m going to pass.

Put a new spin on Valentine’s with the ROMANCE, REMIXED package at W Atlanta – Midtown.  This exclusive experience includes: Upgrade to a Spectacular Room; Valentine’s Day dinner at Spice Market ($75 credit); choice of two sexy underthings from Drew&Lewis and/or Hanky Panky; complimentary valet parking.  From $279

ROMANCE, MAGNIFIED
Electrify your Valentine with an indulgent experience at W Atlanta – Midtown.  The ROMANCE, MAGNIFIED Package includes: Upgrade to a Spectacular Room; His & Her Blissages at Bliss Spa; choice of two sexy underthings from Drew&Lewis and/or Hanky Panky; Cacao Chocolatier desserts delivered to your room; chilled Veuve Clicquot split.   From $479

CAPTURE YOUR ENRAPTURE
Feel like romantic rock stars with W Atlanta – Midtown’s most extravagant Valentine’s Day Package!  The CAPTURE YOUR ENRAPTURE Package includes accommodations in W Atlanta – Midtown’s most extravagant space, the Extreme Wow Suite; a private photo shoot in your suite with famed photog Richie Arpino; dinner for two in your suite – complete with private chef and wine pairings;  His & Her Blissages at Bliss Spa; Cacao Chocolatier desserts, whipped cream and strawberries delivered to your suite; chilled Dom Perignon; choice of two sexy underthings from Drew&Lewis and/or Hanky Panky; hot pink iPod – preloaded with customized playlist by W Hotels Worldwide Global Music Director Michelangelo L’Acqua;  an orchid from the Atlanta Botanical Garden to take home – complete with two tickets the Garden’s Orchid Daze exhibition; breakfast in your suite; extended check-out and complimentary valet parking.  From $5000

To book your Valentine’s Day Package at W Atlanta – Midtown, please visit www.watlantamidtown.com/vday.  Offers valid for stays February 10 – 19.  Terms & Conditions Apply – some packages require minimum 3 days notice.

I was on a flight where the flight attendant  allowed a coach passenger to use the reserved lav for first class which he stayed in for over 10 minutes and the stench following his use was so bad nobody else could use it (thank god it was near the end of the flight) The flight crew tried to dissipate the odor by fanning the door to no avail.

So my question is: Are bathrooms reserved for first class only? Can the flight attendant allow this?

A. of New York

Hi A,

This answer varies from airline to airline. However, more often than not, no, flight attendants cannot “restrict” use to the bathrooms.

Sure, the airline might require that a flight attendant say in their announcements that the front bathroom is “reserved” for first class. But as flight attendants, the only time we truly have to enforce this is on international flights. If an elderly or disabled passenger is on board and seated in the first rows of main cabin, we are to allow them to use the front restroom instead of asking that they walk to the back of the aircraft.

Further, if there are carts in the aisle during the initial or subsequent inflight food and beverage service, and the only restroom that is reachable is in the front, passengers may use it.

My airline asks that we “reserve” the lav as well, but there are times when people sneak into it, or we allow people to use it. I personally try my best to keep it reserved, but it doesn’t always happen.

Bobby

• A fully guided tour of lower Manhattan in the comfort of a heated motorcoach;
• A romantic dinner at one of Little Italy’s oldest restaurants;
• A cruise on board NY Watertaxi where you’ll stop for a champagne toast at close-up view of the Statue of Liberty;
• A guided walking tour of the new Highline Park in the Meat packing district;
• And a ticket for a jaw dropping view of the city skyline from the Top of the Rock Observatory.

The tours depart at 6:00 p.m. from Gray Line New York’s visitor center at 777 8^th Avenue, and return at 10:30 p.m. This tour, at regular price, is available daily. For more information, and to get $20 off of the tour, please visit www.newyorksightseeing.com/valentinesday.

Boarding the flight from DC to Los Angeles was going as normal. Everyone upfront was super nice, cordial, fun to talk to, it was great. I was looking forward to our 6 hour journey back to the West. Once airborne, as usual when flying from East to West I started taking drink and meal orders from the back of first class to the front. Our airline has this policy so that if someone books a round trip in first class and they book the same seat both ways, if they happen to be in a seat which ends up having the last choice in meals – going the opposite way, they’ll have the first choice. It seems fair, in theory.

When it came time to take meal orders, the last two seats in first class were in for some bad news. All I had left was the vegetarian option; Ravioli.

Hi there, so I’m sorry to inform you that the only option I have left is the ravioli. But, if this doesn’t work for you from the main cabin I can get you the following options: Caesar salad, fruit and cheese platter, a club sandwich, a mushroom wrap or a ham and cheese sandwich.

The lady on the aisle seat responded with: “What? there’s not enough food for all of us?”

I explained to her that there is in fact enough food for everyone, the problem is that I didn’t have enough of the meat option for everyone. The company only gives us 5 of those and 4 vegetarian meals.

She then said: “Well, why didn’t you tell me on the ground that the chicken was spoken for?” —  So, I told her that I had no way of knowing that everyone would opt for Chicken, as I just had taken orders seconds before approaching her. She was appalled. Shocked that she couldn’t order chicken.

“This is really ridiculous. What am I supposed to do? Starve?” – Not exactly. There are various other options you can have aside from the chicken meal. In fact, I had offered her six meal options. She handed the menu back to me and said “I’ll decide later what I want to do.”

Okay then. That works for me. I told her if she was truly unhappy to send a letter to the airline. Maybe they would listen and consider her suggestion about having double the amount of meals so that if everyone wanted chicken, everyone could have it. I did tell her that doing so would be an incredible waste since I’d be throwing out meals and also it would be a waste of money.

So here’s my question to you: When flying domestically in first class, its known that airlines don’t provide every option for every passenger. What order should orders be taken in? Front to back? Back to front? Full fare to upgrade? What’s your point of view?

I flew on XXXXXX recently on a round trip SFO to ORD. It is a beautiful airline, but I think it has a terrible safety problem. I was disturbed to see that wing exit rows are going completely empty due to the fact that these are now seat upgrades and, I guess due to the bad economy, nobody was sitting in the wing exit seat row in front of me. I asked the lead crew attendant about this and he said that FAA rules require them to place somebody in the seat if an emergency is declared. I find this really a travesty of safety because I am sure, as US Airways Flight 1549 was positioning for the landing in the Hudson there was no time to get a passenger into the exit row seat if it had been empty, and how important was it to open those wing exits? Considering all the talk about safety, I find this FAA rule and the failure of Virgin to improve upon such poor rules to be a case of safety being presented to the passengers as something in words only.

Jeff of San Francisco, CA

Dear Jeff,

     The lead flight attendant on board is in fact correct. The exit seats do not have to be occupied for take off and landing. Therefore, airlines can charge passengers extra to sit in the exit row, and if no one purchases them, as no one did on board your flight, they will remain empty.

     However, you do raise an interesting point. Flight 1549′s main evacuation point was in fact over the wing, and we do know that Flight 1549 was quite full, so chances are the seats were occupied. US Airways is also one of those airlines who charges for seats with more legroom or those seats closer to the front, at a window or an aisle; they call them “choice seats.”

     So the question is, would 1549 have evacuated as quickly as they did if no one was in the exit row. We’ll never know. Sure, it helped that there was a passenger at each window briefed on how to open it. However, each and every passenger is shown how to open the window exists during the safety demonstration that you’re supposed to be watching before every flight. And, if you happen to not pay attention for whatever reason, there’s always the safety card. The card shows each person exactly where, and how to open all of the exits on board.

      Having no one seated in the exit row isn’t a safety hazard according to the FAA since everyone is made aware as to how and where to evacuate. So, unfortunately, this excuse won’t fly to get yourself a seat or row with more legroom!

Bobby

Winter Warmer Package

Includes:

• Two nights in Spa Suite – ocean-view, duplex room with a Living Room, fully equipped wet bar kitchen, Loft Bedroom, oversized marble bathroom with an air-jet tub and glass walk-in shower and a heated floor.

• Daily Full Breakfast for two at the Inn’s Sea Glass Restaurant

• Welcome Spiked Hot Chocolate in the Fireside Lounge

• Two pairs of  L.L. Bean Wicked Good Slippers 

• Two 60-Minute Casco Bay Hot Stone Massage treatments at the SPA

• Chef’s Cheese Fondue for Two

The Winter Warmer Package is reasonably priced at $992.46 per room, for a two-night stay, based on double occupancy. The package is offered from January 2, 2012 to March 31, 2012.

sen·ior  ma·ma

noun
1. older or elder flight attendant
2. of earliest admission to group of flight attendants at a particular airline
3. flight attendants whom have been flying for said airline since the beginning of time

When I first started working for US Airways back in 2006 the first word I learned was “senior mama.” They were the group of flight attendants whom had been with America West (yes, I was a westie) since the 1980′s and with US Airways East since the 1950′s who were basically dinosaurs still roaming the skies. Now, in their defense, not all of them were “old” per-se, but they posses more seniority than the vast majority of flight attendants at the airline making them “senior.”

So, what are the tall-tale signs you’re becoming a “Senior Mama?”

1. The Turn Bag. With seniority comes the ability to hold the most sought after trips, the transcon turn is one of them. Why pack for a 2 day if you can just take your required items in a small, wheeling, purse-like bag, and show off to the world that “I’m too good for overnights.”
2. Technology is smarter than you. Through the years your airline has changed reservation systems, crew scheduling systems and even gotten those “fancy” new touch screen panels on the Airbus, and you don’t know how to work any one of them. You get so frustrated just trying to check in for your trip that you start pressing every button on the keyboard, give up and proclaim “I’ll just wait for them to call me.”
3. Coach? What’s that? For all of you senior flight attendants that work at legacy airlines, working in coach is like visiting a zoo. You don’t want to go beyond the bulkhead divider into the sometimes mayhem which awaits for you. Working in First Class you provide the most drawn out, longest first class service you can just to tell your co-workers in the back, “ugh, I’m so busy!” Meanwhile, you’re dealing with eight to twelve people, and no one is hungry and everyone is sleeping.
4. The Bitch in the Back. Okay, so you work for an airline where there is no first class, or maybe you’re not quite senior enough to hold first class, but you can be the bitch in the back. The one position on the plane that you can avoid dealing with the circus that is The Boarding Process. You get to keep to yourself, manage all of those inventory numbers (if you choose to participate in the inventory process rather than just proclaiming “we’re out of everything!”) and make a few announcements. The biggest hurdle you have is trying to maintain sanity while the nursery/bathroom line grows larger and larger while you’re trying to count.
5. InFlight Shoes. For the women, you’re supposed to be in heels in the terminal and through out the boarding process. For the men, you should be in black dress shoes. But, you’ve been working on your feet for so many years you now opt for something a bit more comfortable like the Dansko Clog for women (and MEN! Yes, I’ve seen it!) or black UGGs to get you through the flight. The second you step foot onto the plane you change into your “service shoes” or for those extra-special-senior mama’s you don’t even bother with the heels anymore you always wear your “service shoes.”
6. Who’s that? They work here? You’re quickly approaching senior mama status when you don’t know any flight attendants hired a year after yourself. You hear stories about Jenny and Sarah and have no clue who they are and you hear that they’re based at your airlines most junior base and your only thought is, “We still fly there?”
7. Senior Mama buddy-bidder called in sick? Meet the Reserve! You don’t like working the most recent factory produced flight attendant graduates so you buddy bid with someone to avoid having to babysit the newbies. Let’s be honest, they all have to be “re-trained” for the real world anyway.
8. Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome aboard…uhhh. You’ve been with your airline so long that you can’t remember the name of the airline you work for. You’ve been through so many mergers and name changes that you just say “you’re onboard United American Airways”
9. Slam, Click! You’ve been to all of the destinations your airline flies to over and over and over again that when you get to your layover hotel all you want to do is slam your door closed, letting it click behind you, lay on your bed and tune the TV to your stories.
10. The F Word. The one “F” word that’s not your vocabulary, Furlough.

Note: T.C. contributed to this post.