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The Bribe

I know, I know. It’s been a while since I’ve posted here. I’m sorry! Don’t be mad! I haven’t forgotten about you and this blog at all! I just needed some much needed time offline and working on a few other projects.. but I’m back.. and I’m back with more passenger stories.

It’s been a long time since I’ve worked a four day trip. With my current seniority I’m lucky enough to work day trips and be home every night. But, I had a planned vacation to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico (one of my favorite places by the way) and I thought.. well, when I come back to work — I should work a trip with long layovers in good destinations so that I could “extend” my vacation. So, I bid for a four day with 24 hours in Las Vegas and 24 hours in Fort Lauderdale.

Well.. I think part of the reason why I’ve had “writers block” when it comes to passenger stories is because I’ve been working the routes with business travelers who know what they’re doing. Apparently the stories come from those flights with — well — not so seasoned travelers.

There’s a ton of stuff that came out of this one four day, but I’m going to start by telling you this: for the first time, I was offered a bribe.

Yep. A bribe. It was the strangest situation and luckily all three of us flight attendants were in the forward galley preparing the plane for the flight ahead of us when the first few passengers walked on. I’m happy I had witnesses. After first class was fully boarded this man looking very tired, stressed and unhappy came on the plane.

He walk straight up to me and said Are you working first class? A bit shocked that out of the three of us he was able to figure out that I was the first class FA I responded Yep, how can I help you? He then goes into this speech:

I flew out to San Francisco this morning in coach, and now, I’m flying back to Fort Lauderdale on this redeye. I usually only fly first class and this afternoon when I called to checkin and upgrade to first I was put on hold. When they finally got to my call, they told me the first class cabin was already full. I need to be in first class.

I cut him off. I explained that our phone lines were jammed because of the hurricane on the east coast, and apologized. That’s one of the strange things about this job. I was apologizing for the hurricane. Something he should have figured out on his own. Then he cut me off:

Besides that. I need to be in first class. Is it really full?

I looked to my left, down the aisle, Yep, It’s full.

Okay, I’ll offer you $1000 to bump someone from first class so I can sit there. $1000. That’s how much it’s worth to me.

I laughed. I honestly thought he was joking. But, he wasn’t. If it was that important to him why didn’t he buy the first class seat, full fare? That’s quite the offer but sadly, I’ll need to decline. I can’t even imagine the trouble I’d be in for doing that. Plus, how would I even explain to one of them that they’ve been bumped?

Okay, how about if I offer them $1000? Oh.. but.. I don’t have the cash on me. I’ll have to go to the ATM when we land. Damn.. this would be easier if I had the cash on me, right?

Uhh.. what? You’re trying to get people to move out of first class for you by offering them $1000 but you don’t actually have the money on your person? What are you offering..? and IOU on a napkin? Seriously? I mean I can’t even imagine that conversation: I’d like to offer you $1000 to move to my seat in coach but I can’t pay you until we land and you follow me to an ATM. But, oh yeah, since I’ll be upfront, I’ll be off the plane before you are.. so good luck catching me.

Needless to say, I told him he couldn’t make that offer to our first class passengers and that in the future if it was that important he should consider buying the seat at the full fare. Our upgrades sell out fast and aren’t guaranteed.