1000 Ways to Die, 1 Way to Turn Me Off

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A few months ago my fellow InFlight Teammember Sara Keagle was asked to fly to Burbank, California and appear on a SPIKE-TV show called “1000 Ways to Die.” They wanted her to comment on a few inflight situations as a flight attendant and wanted to record her reactions to a few situations.

A few weeks later she got wind from a fellow blogger that they were just asked to appear on the same show. Sara speculated that they didn’t like her appearance and that they were seeking a replacement. Well, though it appears that may have been the case, it was the best thing that could have ever happened. Watch this:

Let’s start from the beginning, ok? Sara wasn’t selected because she isn’t mean spirited, and didn’t fit well with the shows rude and demeaning attitude.

The segment starts with the date: “April 9, 1998″ in which someone died because of “Steward Death.” Now, plug that date into Google with “flight attendant dies” next to it and you’ll find.. well……..nothing. They have the date wrong. The date in which a flight attendant died, in the manner of which the show portrays, was April 28, 1988.

That was Aloha Airlines flight 243 from Hilo, HI to Honolulu. The 737-200 with registration N73711, suffered an explosive decompression due to fuselage fatigue. When the fuselage exploded chief flight attendant Clarabelle “C.B.” Lansing, was standing at seat row 5 collecting drink cups from passengers. According to passengers’ accounts, Lansing was blown out through a hole in the side of the airplane.

In 1000 Ways to Die, we meet “Valerie,” the flight attendant who is reenacting the story of “C.B.”  In the first few moments we learn that Valerie is on her way to retirement after “8 long years” and this is her last flight, though she looks to be 25. She is greeting people at the door with an attitude, denying people pillows (during a time where blankets were accessible to everyone), and supposedly began the flight with her own “coffee, tea or screw you brand of service,” as the show said.

According to current colleagues of mine who worked for Aloha at the time, C.B. was very well liked and not nearing retirement, like the show portrays, and loved everything about her job.

Did you also notice how when Valerie passed out peanuts she literally through them at people, including sleeping passengers? Are you serious? Even though flight attendants sometimes carry the image of being “snarky and sassy” I’ve never seen one our right throw things at passengers or act completely rude and disrespectful like Valerie does. I have to admit, I’m a bit appalled at how the show is creating a negative image of flight attendants.

Next up, here’s the pilot “expert” to save the day: Jean-Claude Demirdjian. He’s been brought in to tell us how exactly this situation can and did occur on board. A quick search will tell you that he’s the only thing legit about this segment and though he hasn’t flown since 2002, he has extensive aircraft safety experience behind him. I wonder if he knew how mean they were going to make his ex-colleagues look on TV. If I knew before hand, I wouldn’t have done it.

Finally, the segment closes stealing two and a half minutes from our life with a warning: “The next time you’re on a flight, keep your seatbelt buckled and try to ignore the hostile stewardess and remember that the closest exit may be right above your head.”

How about the next time you get on a aircraft you realize how safe it is to fly on because of the actual incident that occurred in 1988 and the lessons we can and have learned from it and C.B. You should also realize that there are few flight attendants out there that cause the “hostile” flight attendant image, and they (we), like everyone else, deserve your respect and attention and they should show you the same.

Why must the media and the entertainment industry keep extorting the position of flight attendants? We’re there for your safety and we’ve proven time and time again that we can do our jobs, and do it well.

Talk about trash TV. I won’t be watching again.

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