Overheard at the Gates #2

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I was making a connection in the Philadelphia airport, something I always try to avoid, and I had a long way to walk. From the B terminal to the very last A gate, A26.

I stopped for food along the way, set up camp around B1 for the night and then continued onto A26 the next morning at dawn once I could see through the crazies.

Just kidding of course, but I didn’t do a good job of avoiding a very funny yet sad conversation.

After getting into a minor misunderstanding with a gate agent I took my seat, front and center, so that they could see me when it was time for them to issue me a seat and call my name. But seated next to me was.. well.. two interesting characters.

I joined the conversation where the blonde said to the old lady, “I’m so happy you came with me.. otherwise I would have missed my flight. Next time he books me he better not put me through Philadelphia.” The old lady responded with, “right? What would you do with out me?”

The blonde then lets out this huge groan, grunt and moan and said, “I can’t believe I missed my flight because I needed a cigarette. If Philadelphia airport is as big as they say it is why don’t they have a smoking section for us to go to and puff puff it up.” The old lady responded by saying, “Well you knew you didn’t have a lot of time, why did you go outside to smoke?” And the blonde said, “I needed it.. I needed it so, so bad. But now, I’m stuck here!”

I turned away because I didn’t want to seem like I was paying attention to this conversation though I will admit I was intrigued. I couldn’t tell if they were traveling together or not so I kept listening. All of a sudden the blonde’s Boost mobile phone made a noise in her pocket. She takes it out.. looked at it and in true year 2000 fashion walkie talkies the guy on the other end. “Hey baby.. how are you?” The man screams back: “you missed your flight because you needed to suck one?! I can’t believe you. I have to call into work to be home to pick you up!” She began to cry and the old lady placed her hand on her shoulder, “but baby.. you know it’s an addiction just like Robert Downey Jr had!”

Now, I’m starting to laugh. But, someone seated behind me joined the conversation and the eavesdropping a bit too late and was actually quite furious. She walked over to the blonde and said, “I’m traveling with a child I would appreciate if you’d stop talking about your sexual escapades with your pimp.” I about DIED. On the other side of me was a Comair pilot and we both just looked at each other in disbelief.

The blonde retaliated with, “what are you talking about? I’m talking about having a puff puff of a nicotine stick.” And the lady said, “I don’t know what you kids call it now, but enough!..” and walked away.

The old lady saw that the blonde was now furious and decided to pack their bags up and walk over to the boarding gate to “not get lost” this time and “make your flight on time.” She kept muttering “people are nuts” and “who do people think they are” under her breath. As they walked away the blonde pulled a cigarette out of her pocked and looked at the lady who was upset just a few minutes earlier “this, my ear dropping friend is a nicotine stick.”

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