The Boston List

Posted in A Day in the Life of a Flight Attendant | 9 comments

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It should come as no surprise to those of you that read this blog that I always seem to find the crazy people. I’m starting to wonder if its not “me” per-say but just the cities I always fly between.

I was off of work for a week. Eight days, actually. I went back to work with a nice, easy, three day with long Seattle and Boston layovers. Perfect trip to jumpstart flying again, or so I thought.

The flights to and from Seattle were light, easy, and enjoyable. But then, on the way to Boston we paid for it. And, we paid for it with vengeance.

At the end of the boarding process a family of 5 walked onto the plane. The first thing I noticed was that the mother was crying. She walked over to me and pleaded:

You’ve got to help me! You’re gate agents aren’t! I am traveling with my family and we’re spread out across the whole airplane. This is unacceptable and must be fixed.

Upon further questioning I find that she decided not to pick their seats online when they purchased their tickets. She said she wanted to wait until the day of the flight in hopes “better seats would be available.” Umm.. No. That’s not how that works. But, anyway, before she came on the plane the agents briefed me that she was coming. They spent 40 minutes calling passengers up to the podium to find some that would be willing to change seats to get the family together. No takers.

They had 2 seats in row 13.. two in row 9 and 1 in row 8. The problem here was row 9 in an emergency exit, which means the adults would have to sit there. However, the FAA says that if you have other responsibilities on board the aircraft (such as small children) you are not permitted to sit there. So after much mayhem and a delay off the gate.. we got 3 of them in row 8 and 2 in row 13. I thought that would have been the worst of this flight, but I was way, way wrong.

After we got in the air someone seated in our “premium economy” seats went to the aft of the aircraft. She wanted to complain that we had sold out of our sandwich option. She claimed that because she was seated in premium class she was “entitled to a turkey sandwich.” Seriously? Where on your ticket does it says “guaranteed to purchase turkey sandwich once on board.” Please realize when you buy an airline ticket, the only thing you’re “entitled to” is a flight from point A to B, but even then– there are exceptions to that. Regardless, we told her that though shes in premium and is entitled to a free meal, she must choose from the meals that are available at the time she places her order.. and we do not put food aside to ensure they have a selection.

Next up: the emotional support animal. I really don’t understand this concept, but live and let live. This woman was traveling with an ‘emotional support animal’ because she was afraid to fly (or because she wanted to avoid paying the fee for a cabin pet). I was in the front working on paperwork about my delay out of Los Angeles because of the family of 5 when the phone rang. Bing Bong. It was one of the flight attendants in the back and the first thing out of his mouth: We have an issue. Great. The dog, since it’s emotional support and doesn’t need to be in its carrier, decided to “relieve itself” in the middle of the aisle. Immediately after he said that, the call buttons started ringing and the complaints of the smell soon followed. I told the FA to give the woman gloves, a bag, club soda and papertowels and let her clean up her dogs mess. I’m sorry– but I wasn’t doing it and I’d never ask my crew to do it either. Later, we put coffee grounds over the area to mask the smell.

In a close third place, a little girl got sick on the sidewall in row 13. That’s right, one of the kids from the family of 5. We issued that mother the same supplies the puppy lady used.

Now, here’s something that really baffles me. Row 8 treated the cabin like their personal garbage dump. Yep, that’s right again.. the family of 5. Are you noticing a theme here? Good. The little boy took a full bag of “goldfish” dumped them on the floor.. and made sure to stomp them into the carpet as hard as he could. Additionally, his father was cutting the crust off his kids sandwiches, and throwing them into the aisle. Yes, you read that correctly.. throwing them into the aisle. When asked he said “where else would you like me to put them?” — I walked away. It wasn’t worth it.

When we finally landed — it didn’t come quick enough — I had prepared a list for the gate agent of things that needed to be fixed/cleaned. She walked aboard the aircraft, smiled — and said “I heard you had a shitty flight.” I said, “Oh, you have no idea. Here’s a list of things to fix before this aircraft can depart again.” She then called in a delay to operations — before my flight had even deplaned.

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