Wow. For the last few holiday seasons I didn’t fly much. Prior to my current airline, I worked in the office during the holidays, and prior to that, at my first airline; I was in training for Thanksgiving and somehow got Christmas off. But, wow. People who haven’t flown since Carter was President are now in the skies and it’s scary.
I recently worked a trip in the main cabin— I know, I know — what was I thinking? It’s really like a circus sometimes.. literally. From Los Angeles to New York, my specialty, Winnie the Pooh joined us, and in a middle seat. I’m not kidding! I was working the back galley and all of a sudden I heard the call button going off non-stop. The Flight Attendant in the aisle was trying desperatly to get my attention. I go out to row 15 and the FA points.. and says.. have you met Winnie? Well, there she was.. a woman, in a middle seat, dressed as Winne the Pooh. She was fully dressed, hat with ears, full costume. I tried to sneak a real picture for you, but, it would give away what airline I work for – and violate my airlines blogging regulations — but this was a sight to see. She didn’t take it off the whole flight long.
On the same flight seated in the last row of the plane was a mother and her daughter. We’re taking the daughter is about 23 years old. The other flight attendant in the back with me, a female, noticed the hairclip that the mother was wearing, it was a metal sprig of holly. The FA mistook it for a missletoe and in her southern (Charlotte, NC) accent politely said “is that a missletoe in your hair?” to which the woman replied: “I don’t know, is it?” and proceeded to look up as if she would be able to see her own hair to decide if it was, truly, missletoe.
The next day, thinking we were out of the crazy woods, we met the king. About 4 hours into a 7 hour flight from New York to San Francisco this man comes to back.. throws his hands up in the air, much like Evita and began to proclaim, loudly: “economic crisis..economic crisis..economic crisis..” over and over. I finally asked him what he was talking about, and he said “no food for 4 hours! NO FOOD for 4 HOURS.” I politely told him that we had food onboard but it was for purchase. He again goes into his “economic crisis” speech, this time I cut him off. I explained, again, that food is available but you have to pay for it. He then tells me that he hasn’t flown in 5 years, and he can’t believe he had to pay to check a bag, pay for headphones, pay for food and pay for everything. Then he said “and even customer service went downhill.” So, my response was “okay, I need to go back to work.. go back to your seat.”
So, I went back to work.. turned around to pour a drink for a passenger and I felt a hand on my back.. slide all the way down to my backside.. I quickly turned around and it was that man again! I was LIVID. I yelled “EXCUSE ME.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” He said he was looking for food. The other FA said, “well you’re not going to find it there!” I again said, “go back to your seat.” This other passenger, at the same time he touched me, turned around to come to the back to use the restroom.. she comes up to me and says: “oh my god! I saw that! I saw him touch you! are you okay?” I laughed it off, said yes.. and said he was just a crazy old man. She turns around, goes back to her seat and pulls an apple out of her bag. She put it on the old man’s tray table and said “here. Now don’t get up again!” I LOVE her!
So, in true holiday spirit.. please keep the following tips in mind when traveling this holiday season:
1. Don’t touch the flight attendants.
2. Don’t caress the flight attendants.
3. Bring your own food, there might not be free food on board. In fact, other than snacks, no airline has “free food” other than Continental. Keep that in mind.
4. Remember that you are one of probably over 150 passengers and there is only 3 flight attendants. It’s going to take time for them to complete everyones requests.
5. Keeping the total amount of passengers in mind, don’t get upset if you ask the flight attendants for something and they forget, 6 more people asked us something after we talked to you.. we don’t usually walk around with note pads.
6. Again, don’t touch the flight attendants.
7. Saying “please” and “thank you” will get you everywhere. I reward good behavior.
8. Don’t dress like Winnie the Pooh
9. Remember: You cannot look up and see the back of your head.
10. Remember, we want to go home too. Delays aren’t the flight attendants fault.
Episode 10:
At JetBlue, they have free snacks…it may not be real food, but it’s sustenance, and doesn’t cost a dime. (Of course, there is no WiFi.)
I had a passenger tell me she didnt have a credit card because theres an evil company run by aliens that is running around wisconsin with her credit. She changed seats every 10 minutes for a 6 hour and 40 minute flight.
God Bless!! I don’t know how you do it? LOL
Sometimes I don’t know either!
I really want to know what the deal was with Pooh!
What is with people this week? I swapped planes this week with a Flight Attendant who got her behind smacked by a teenager! Since the kid was traveling with his other 20 hockey teammates & coach, she marched up to the coach and said “You have a problem. Your kid just smacked my bottom.” Everyone saw it (and heard it) but the Coach said it was an accident and that it was the “severe turbulence” that caused it.
Also….Midwest has cookies….and Pax are just out of control this week!
It’s because the pax check their brains at the ticket counter. We (ground agents) try to remind them to carry it on, but they insist on leaving it in the checked luggage since they pay so damn much for it anyways.
That coach deserves some severe turbulence from his department!
As a frequent business traveler, I certainly understand that it isn’t easy to serve casual or infrequent travelers. There’s no excuse for in appropriate behavior by anyone. And as for Winne the Pooh – well that one’s in a league of its own.
I think it would be helpful if you bore something in mind: You fly every day, in your profession of choice. As part of that, you have to serve people who, like some of the characters mentioned in your post, may not have flown in a long time. Calling them “the crazies” and treating them dismissively does nothing for you. You come off as arrogant and a snob. I don’t think that’s the image you seek.
Based on what you’ve posted, I think you should talk to your carrier’s in-flight management to explore ways to improve the announcements related to your airline’s buy-on-board (BOB) program. This assumes your management will listen to you, which I know is as likely as finding life on Mars. Still, it’s apparent that current BOB communications may not be ideal. If the airline won’t listen, you and your flying partners should take the initiative and make additional announcements to help casual travelers better understand how the on-board experience is different from what the may have remembered. Hopefully that will reduce customer questions or confusion, and help you and your airline look better in the eyes of all of your passengers.
Bobby- I dont think a better BOB announcement would have kept his hand off your rear
That’s the type of situation where having the cops waiting at the jetway upon landing is MORE than justified.
“Please Don’t Caress the Flight Attendant” desperately needs to be a t-shirt.
LOL! I might have to make one!
I would have! That’s just rude!
I want to know what Pooh’s deal was too! I wish you could have seen the facial expression on my other FAs face when Pooh walked on!
As Ms Shirley Q Liquir says:
we as your cabin crew are pleased to serve you, please don’t hesitate to ask for assistances, however the stewardesses do not appreciate if people are feelin up on their legs.
WOW Pooh and a feel up all on one trip. WHERE WAS I?
Come back to SFO.. please!
Bobby, if you encounter another passenger like that man, would you please try to remember to inquire whether he has a medical condition that requires him to eat frequently, and perhaps discreetly scan for medical alert tags? Low blood sugar is the most likely issue, but there are several rare metabolic conditions that could cause a similar level of distress on fasting. Depending on the problem, a sugar-filled drink could prevent a trip to the hospital for acute kidney failure — or just get a hungry cheapskate off your back, which also has some value.