Dear 2D,

Posted in A Day in the Life of a Flight Attendant | 2 comments

Hi. It’s me. Your gay flight attendant. I know you know I’m gay. The way you smile at every move I make and how you touch my hand every time I serve you a drink gave it away. Oh! and lets not forget how you told me you were gay as well.. when you bent down to read my name bar when I said “hello how are you?” as you walked on the airplane and you bent over to say “I’m good..[read name bar] Bobby. So…. Bobby, huh?”

Yep. That’s me. I’m so happy that you fell asleep right after takeoff because your awkward smile and slow talking was starting to creep me out. You know, I used to think getting hit on at all at work was flattering. I thought that it was nice someone noticed me, noticed that I do try to make myself look the best I can at work.. and someone genuinely found me attractive. But you… without even giving me/asking me for my number.. found a way to ruin that.

When you woke up 30 minutes prior to landing and headed to the bathroom I was faced with a dilemma. Do I act as if its to late to offer you a snack and something to drink, or do I be nice, and offer you a drink and something to eat since you slept since take off?

Being the professional, nice, flight attendant that I am, I offered you a drink and a snack as you exited the lav. I brought you your diet coke and bag of pretzels at the same moment you wrapped your blanket over your shoulders like a cape and reached your arms out flexing your hands like a baby would to a bottle .. almost as to say “gimme gimme!” I dropped off the diet coke and bag and you again make it obvious to look at my name bar and again read “thanks…Bobby.” It was at this moment I realized that you were just a creepy old man in a business suit.

You have no chance, there is no hope, and there is no way I would ever even consider spending time with you.

For one, I’m not looking, and, if that weren’t the case, the answer is still no. You need to learn how to better flirt with those you’re interested in, the manner in which you’re currently attempting to do so may result in you ending up in prison.

Lastly, for the record, I did hear you tell 2F you thought I was “good enough for a one night stand..and then.. we’ll see” after I put your drink on your tray table and walked away without any further interaction following your mini-tantrum trying to grab your food/drink.

Asshole.

Signed,

Your Flight Attendant.