Do you know who I am?

Posted in A Day in the Life of a Flight Attendant | 18 comments

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I headed to the airport from my layover in JFK early because it was one of those “I need a large coffee” days. I knew it when I woke up. It was one of those mornings where you just can’t seem to drag yourself out of bed and you painfully throw one leg overboard just hoping it propels the rest of your body to get moving.. but it doesn’t work. So, zombie like you walk into the shower hoping it at least activates a reaction strong enough to wake you up. Eventually, I headed to the airport.

I arrived at the gate and spoke to one of the gate agents who told me the usual news, that the flight to Los Angeles was full. So I dragged myself down the jetbridge, boarded the airplane and started to get myself situated before the herd starts their stamped down the jetbrige. I always found that funny, it’s like breaking down the walls of a dam, people just come RUSHING onto the airplane.. only to sit there.. for 6 hours.. with the rest of us. Why the rush?

Two minutes prior to boarding I gave my crew a quick briefing like usual with flight times, passenger counts, specials, etc. But, what happened next during first class boarding, was anything but usual.

On walks a man about 6’3 with a brown blazer, sunglasses on, blackberry glued to his ear, and a winter coat with 2 carry-on duffel bags in his hand. He takes his coat, throws it over my shoulders and says “deal with it.”

It took everything in me, not to throw it on the floor and walk all over it, just like he had done to me. Being the professional that I am, I folded it up neatly and placed it in the overhead bin. We don’t have closets on board. He notices what I did with it, places his phone call on hold and says “I said, deal with it” to which I responded, “I have, we don’t have closets.”

Once inflight, I began cooking the breakfast entree’s in the oven while I served the scones and pastry appetizers to the passengers. As I offer everyone an over-baked good I take their entree order. We have 2 different entrees and I’m provided 50% of each, to accommodate one per passenger. Mr. Deal with It (or DWI) was happy to place his order as I had his preferred selection available.

I plated his meal, a three cheese frittata, walked it over to him and placed the tray on his traytable. Not 2 seconds later, his meal was on my pants and shoes. I looked at him quickly thinking he mistakenly knocked it over or maybe I had done it and not realized it, only to have him say

I don’t like the way it looks. I’ll have the other option.

Like hell you will. My response:

I’m sorry sir, but I only have one meal per person, and unfortunately everyone is eating an entree this morning. I’d be more than happy to get you something from the main cabin.

There I am, egg on my shoes and pants, and I still kept my cool. I was quite proud of myself. He wanted a fruit and cheese platter from coach, which I obtained for him. Part of me wanted to put a piece of chewed chewing gum under the plate to ensure the cheese wasn’t going to be added to my shoes to create an omelet.

Breakfast was over, cleaned up and put away. I walked to the main cabin to see if the other crewmembers needed any help with service and immediately heard DING. The flight attendant call button at 2C. So, I walked back upfront, leaned over to him and said “can I get you anything?”

No. I just wanted to see how long it would take you to attend to any needs I may have though, since you left the first class cabin.

So, I politely explained that the airplane was only 26 rows, so I was always 30 seconds away and that after the meal service my assistance is needed in the main cabin to assist with the 140 other people onboard.

I walked to the back, stunned that someone would even say that to me. Half way to the back, just as I was formulating a sentence to tell the other FAs what just happened.. DING. 2C. I went back upfront, slammed my hand on the overhead to turn off the call button making it know, I’m over his attitude, and said “Yes?”

I’m getting tired and would like to sleep. So raise the temperature to about 88 degrees to warm it up.

Again, keeping my cool.. I said “unfortunately I cannot do that. The temperature control controls the temp from row 11 to the front and we’re full in coach. I don’t want 140 sitting on top of each other in 88 degree heat. ” His response was less than amused and said “but I’m in first class” and my response was “and I’m the flight attendant.” I grabbed him another blanket and headed aft.

I begin telling the other FAs what a handful I have upfront when one of them says “you’re never going to believe this but..look!” There he was, Mr. DWI,  walking from row 1 to 7 shutting everyone’s window shades. He was leaning over the passenger in the window seat just to shut it. I storm up the aisle as he was yelling at a passenger to “keep it down!” and told him he could not do that. He said he wished to sleep and it wasn’t dark enough for him.

I wish I had my cell phone camera on me, because at this moment, he was wearing an eye make on the top of his head. So I responded “well, if you put the eye mask on correctly, you wouldn’t have that issue.” He didn’t respond. He took his seat, grabbed my forearm and said

under no circumstances are you to f*****g wake me.

put his eye mask on and reclined his seat. So as I walked aft I said loud enough for him to hear “make sure your seatbelt is fastened outside of your blanket, because if the sign comes on and I can’t see it, you bet your ass I’ll wake you.”

Finally, we’re 2o minutes away from landing in LAX and I just made the announcement to bring seats forward, put bags away, turn off electronics, etc and I notice Mr. Deal with It bring his seat forward 1/4th of the way.. so, I know he heard me and I know he’s awake. I prepare the cabin for landing and leave him last to deal with. I gently tap him on the shoulder and say “excuse me sir, but we’re landing and I need you to bring your seat all the way forward.”

In a fury he yelled “I told you not to f*****g wake me!” So, I went aft and followed our initial brainwashing training to the T and asked another FA to give it a shot at dealing with him. Maybe, he just doesn’t like me. A female FA went up to him and politely reiterated the same thing I had said. He jolted in his seat, grabbed her hand and said

Ya know what? I’m going to start a grassroots movement within the FAA  starting with the lowest of the low in the FAA organization, you, my flight attendant, to prove that seats dont NEED to be up for landing.

All of a sudden, the urge for that large coffee came back and I lost my cool. I stormed over to him and said

You know what? I’m no longer asking you to bring your seat forward, I’m telling you as a direct crewmember instruction bring it up and shut up or you won’t walk off this airplane a free man.

And out of his mouth came

Do you know who I am? DO YOU know who I am?

to which I responded “No I have no idea who you are, nor do I CARE who you are. What I can tell you is I know who I AM and I AM a flight attendant who can ensure you walk off this airplane in handcuffs, now bring your seat up.” He didn’t.

With all of the commotion going on, the 3rd FA called the flight deck and explained the situation. The pilots radioed ahead to the gate about Mr DWI and had the LAPD and TSA standing by for our arrival. The captain had already told them it was an occurrence of “assault on a crewmember” and “disobeying crewmember instructions.”

The door opened, Mr DWI grabbed his bags, sunglasses back on, blackberry re-attached to his ear, points to my nose in a point blank range and says “you’ve officially made this the worst flight of my life.”

I said “ditto.. but for you, its about to get a whole lot worse. Do you remember who I am?, they’re here [pointing at the LAPD] for you. Have a great day and thanks for flying with us!”

He was arrested after walking off the aircraft, and is no longer allowed to fly with us.

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